“You are what you do, not what you say you will do” - Carl Jung
It seems like a small infraction - your dog blasts past you & bolts through the door -
but you were going that way anyway...
Or
You want your dog to lay down and not be underfoot while you’re making dinner -
"Go Lay Down"...
"No"...
"LAY DOWN"!
You get frustrated
You give in
You have other, more important things to do right now
It’s no big deal...
You prioritize, focus on the big stuff
And these little allowances, permissive conversations, minor infractions don’t mean much...
Right??
What you may not realize is you are strengthening a relationship and building your reputation with your dog in all these small moments.
Everything you do,
Say,
Allow,
Prevent,
Or not
gives your dog information about you.
About your expectations for them and their relationship with you...
Are you believable & reliable?
Can they, should they trust in and follow your guidance?
About how they can behave around you...
Can they treat you as a littermate - demanding, pushy, blow you off?
Or
Should they be more mindful, reverent and do what you say?
Which reputation belief do you want with your dog?
Failing to follow through and do what you say, to get, or stop a behavior,
In these small moments:
Erodes credibility -
Lack of follow through after each command or marker adds a subconscious question mark in your dog's responses to you
Do you really mean it?
Do I really have to?
Strengthen your credibility by taking the time to follow through in getting the behaviors you want or are teaching or stopping unwanted behaviors every time.
Builds distrust & unreliability -
Trust is built on small actions, in the small moments, not in the dramatic, higher stakes situations and certainly not by “loving” your dog by giving in to their (or your) every whim, and allowing infractions.
To get reliable behaviors from your dog
YOU must prove to them that you are reliable
You are ready, willing and able to offer guidance & feedback,
To build a routine around what they should (and are allowed or not) to do in any given situation.
Limits quality of life -
When your dog can’t count on you,
When they don’t trust that you got this and will handle them and what happens in their environment...
You have a dog that will be stuck at home,
in a crate,
in a room,
the backyard
and ultimately not fully included in your life.
If you make it a habit to be an owner, (steward, fur parent etc.) of your word...
If you consistently follow through,
Especially with the small moments...
If you show up for your dog,
Offer leadership & guidance,
Holding them accountable and advocating for them
You will develop a strong, healthy relationship
And prove to your dog that you are capable and willing to handle the big stuff
You either do what you say you’re going to do...
or you don’t...
Either way, your dog strengthens their beliefs in you and your reputation
Which one do you want it to be?
xo
-J
